Hollywood teaches us a lot, though most of it is wrong. Remember the movie (or the countless movies) where the rich guy dies, and his only children are all snobs that couldn’t possibly appreciate the fortune that he would leave to them? So the rich guy writes all of his snob children out of the will and leaves his money to the nice person that he met at the restaurant (bar, street corner, whatever) that he had to go to because it was the only place that people wouldn’t recognize him and try to get his money. Of course, none of the snobby children were told about the change in the will (probably should have been trust, but that’s a different blog).
Hollywood taught us, although it probably wasn’t the purpose of the movie makers, that we need to keep our estate plan a secret. Maybe that is the case for someone with at least some similarities to the above scenario, but for most middle class people without snobby children who are waiting to blow through their life’s work, an estate plan should be known by your successor trustees, beneficiaries, medical proxy, and any others that you are leaving property to or asking to assist with your estate.
Here are a couple of good reasons why you share your estate plan. First, a good estate plan should have medical planning documents. A living will tells medical providers about your end of life decisions, such as whether you would like to be kept on life support or not. So why do some people want to hide these from their friends and family? Most likely, among their friends and family are the people, or person, that they have chosen to make that pull-the-plug-type of decision. How would they even know that you expect them to make that difficult decision unless you have told them? Maybe they’re not the right person for the job. You should probably have a discussion with this person to determine whether they see these end of life choices the same way that you do, and you obviously can’t do that and keep this part of your estate plan a secret.
Second, what are your future heirs/beneficiaries going to do if they can’t find your estate plan? Picture this, the time comes that your family needs to distribute your property. Within your estate plan is a decision to allow your youngest child, who is newly married and still in college, to live in your house for five years before the house is sold and the proceeds are split between children. This will give your youngest a great start in his new life. Your kids think you have an estate plan, but you decided it was better to keep it a secret. They search your house and don’t find a plan anywhere because its in a lock box somewhere. Now what? Your estate probably goes to probate court, which may have been avoidable. Your house is sold, and the proceeds shared after probate fees. An equal share in your house will probably help your youngest, but maybe not as much as five years of free housing and then an equal share in the house. To make a long story short, your wishes aren’t carried out because your wishes were never known.
Someone needs to know about your estate plan, preferably a few people. Informing your attorney may be a good start, but do you really stay in constant contact with your attorney? Will he or she know when the time has come to carry out your wishes or could it be several years later that your attorney finds out that you have passed away?
Lets say that you do in fact have a less Hollywood, more reality reason for keeping part of that plan a secret. For instance, maybe you have a child with a gambling problem, lets name him Joe. You also have two other children, Dave and Sally, who are levelheaded and good with money. You decide to distribute Dave and Sally’s portion of your estate outright, meaning as soon as possible after you pass. Joe on the other hand has his money kept in a trust and distributed slowly so that he doesn’t gamble it away as soon as he gets it. Maybe you also set a provision that allows a trustee to withhold Joe’s distributions if he continues gambling. In this case you might not want Joe to know about the estate plan. It might cause friction in your family and you don’t want that. So, do you keep your estate plan a secret? Maybe you do from Joe, but didn’t we say you have two other levelheaded children? Tell Dave and Sally about the plan! Even if you don’t tell them about Joe’s payments, at least they know that it exists and where to find it. Estate planning is personal. Every situation is different.
Civitas law group is ready to handle your estate planning needs and set up a plan that will be personalized to you and your situation. Contact us today and we will set up a free consultation.
